The Uncomfortable Truth DEIB Reveals About Us

Today, I screamed so loud that my daughter came into the kitchen crying, thinking I had cut my finger off. When she saw the look of relief on my face after that emotional release, she yelled at me for scaring the crap out of her.

What triggered me? A conversation that hit a nerve. It was one of those well-meaning, yet blind to their privilege, moments where someone questioned the need for DEIB. Ironically, it came from someone who had clearly benefited from the very systems DEIB seeks to challenge, and the more equitable playing field those efforts have helped create.

Have you ever been so frustrated that you can’t speak clearly? Your tongue gets tied, and the only thing that leaks out is emotion; raw, tearful, and uninvited? That was me. And it wasn’t over anything trivial.

Let’s be real: diving into DEIB conversations these days is like throwing a match into a dry forest. There’s heat. Resistance. Defensiveness. Some people are braced for dialogue; others are searching for an escape route. And it often feels like we’re not just in different chapters. It’s like we’re reading entirely different books.

Recently, I found myself in conversations with folks who unknowingly benefited from DEIB but were comfortably advocating for its removal. The irony was jarring. It reminded me of Serena Joy from The Handmaid’s Tale, where a woman who helped build a system that ultimately caged her. It’s the same paradox: enjoying the shade while forgetting the tree that offers it.

Calling Up, Not Calling Out

DEIB isn’t a buffet. You don’t get to cherry-pick what’s comfortable and leave the rest behind. It demands discomfort. It demands a willingness to examine our own biases, privileges, and complicity.

• Diversity is more than numbers; it’s lived experience.
• Equity digs deeper than equality; it looks at what’s fair based on what’s real.
• Inclusion isn’t just inviting someone in; it’s making sure they feel they belong once they’re there.
• Belonging is the endgame: a profoundly felt experience of being seen, heard, and valued.

Do You Consider Yourself Values-Driven?

If you’re someone who believes in compassion, fairness, or the basic principle of treating others the way you’d want to be treated, this conversation is for you.

Many of us were raised with golden rules, guiding principles, or moral compasses rooted in empathy, justice, and care for the marginalized. But let’s be honest: living those values takes more than quoting them.

The Leaders I Admire Most?

They’re not always the loudest in the room. They’re the ones who show up in the hard spaces. They sit with people who are overlooked. They create room for uncomfortable conversations. They listen before speaking.

To me, that’s the energy of DEIB. It’s not always polished. It’s not always easy. But it’s rooted in action, in integrity, and in the willingness to extend the table, not shrink it.

If we’re going to talk about being values-driven, it can’t be selective. It requires more than passive agreement; it demands courageous follow-through.

We Might Need a Reckoning

Serena Joy wasn’t fiction. She’s an archetype for what happens when people with power advocate for systems that hurt others, and eventually themselves. When we stay silent, dismiss the issue, or let fear make our decisions, we become complicit in that harm.

DEIB isn’t about political correctness. It’s about human worth. It’s about acknowledging that our world still makes judgments based on race, gender, ability, orientation, neurodivergence, faith, or identity, and those judgments shape opportunity.

Can I Be Real and Raw?

This is a plea. To think. To feel. To stop numbing. To get uncomfortable enough to change.

Because change doesn’t come from silence. Change comes from the scream that breaks the stillness. The conversation that cracks open a new way of thinking. The pause when we realize that maybe it’s not just them. Maybe it’s me, too.

So yeah, I scared my daughter. But if that primal scream made one person reflect on the messy beauty of DEIB and the radical love it demands, I’ll take it.