Finding Joy in the Leadership Journey

An interesting remark from Mark Manson (author of The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck) had me thinking we’d be great friends and have lengthy philosophical conversations late into the night if we ever met. Often, as I share my ideas, others may like or disagree, but more often than not, I’m the one who sparks the deep conversation. I suppose I enjoy sparking thoughtful dialogue. That said, it’s always refreshing when I get to listen first. Maybe I should try that more often!

Manson may have written it first, but when he talks about happiness, it’s like he pulled the words right out of my mouth. I’m talking about finding joy in the journey. Whether that journey is personal, relational, or professional, the question remains:

How do you find happiness in it?

Manson suggests that happiness is not a destination or a gift from the universe; it’s an action. It’s something you do, not something you get. You must engage with life to experience joy.

Finding joy in your journey often starts with discomfort. You get tired of where you are, and that discontent pushes you into action. Real joy is born out of letting go of what doesn’t matter and focusing on the actions that move you forward. That’s something worth reflecting on.

During a recent coaching session, I asked a client, "When are you unhappy?" Her answer surprised me: "I’m unhappy when there’s no conflict." That answer stuck with me. If conflict is necessary to spark joy, yet we avoid it at all costs, where does that leave us?

It forces us to confront our belief systems. Conflict doesn’t make us unhappy; it makes us uncomfortable. Discomfort is the real birthplace of growth. Conflict is necessary for resolution, and resolution brings clarity and progress. We must learn to embrace it.

Discomfort isn’t the enemy. It’s a signal. It’s the little nudge that invites us to get honest about where we are and where we’re going. I’ve come to believe that discomfort is the secret ingredient to momentum. You don’t move when you’re numb. You move when you feel.

Joy doesn’t just show up the day you hit a goal. It must be part of the process, or the destination will feel hollow. It’s a practice. Letting go of what doesn’t serve you, and being present in what does. We must continue taking action even when it’s hard. It's about being intentional with your days, your thoughts, and your energy.

When you catch yourself in the spin cycle, you know, those days when you’re stuck in your head, mad about the tone in that email, or annoyed that your kid didn’t clean their room (again), remember joy is not a passive experience. It’s a decision. It’s an act of self-leadership.

You don’t get to joy by accident. You get there by aligning your life with what matters and learning to quiet the noise that doesn’t.

The most beautiful part of this journey is that every time you release something that doesn’t matter, you upgrade your experience. The more you let go, the freer you feel. The freer you feel, the more energy you have to pursue what really matters.

Here’s the truth I’ve lived again and again: “We don’t grow from our experiences, we grow when we reflect on our experiences." – Dewey J.

“The power is in you.” – Shannon Rheault

These aren’t just quotes. These are daily reminders. I’ve worked with hundreds of leaders and teams who were waiting for some external moment to give them permission to pursue joy. But the journey doesn’t start when the calendar turns or when someone hands you the reins. It starts when you decide to intentionally claim it.

Think about the last time something small ruined your day. Getting stuck behind the train, waking up on the wrong side of the bed. A stranger’s tone hit a nerve. It’s easy to let small things steal our joy and spiral us into frustration. But when you focus on what brings you joy and put action behind it, you build resilience. You start showing up differently. You set the tone for your day, instead of letting your day set the tone for you.

Joy in the journey is not only possible but also powerful. Let it fuel your progress. Let it remind you why you’re doing the hard work. Let it become the anchor that steadies you through storms.