I Didn't Set Out To Be a Leader

I didn’t originally set out to be a leader.

It still makes me a little uncomfortable saying it out loud. But let’s face it—I’ve got a company, a team, and a vision I’m fiercely committed to. So, whether I like the title or not, here we are. Call it what you will—leader, founder, visionary, path-clearer, regardless—it comes with responsibility.

Being a leader doesn't bother me because I lack confidence, trust me- I’ve done the work. But because of an old, warped core belief I’ve carried. And maybe, just maybe, a deep desire to stay grounded. I never want to be the kind of leader who forgets what it feels like to be led.

Here’s the part I resisted: responsibility. Not just for myself anymore, but also for others.

Let’s be real, that’s no small thing. It means being intentional and available. It means knowing when to speak and when to listen. And it means staying open to feedback I don’t always want and sometimes don’t know what to do with.

It means staying empathetic when judgment would be so much easier (and let’s be honest, sometimes more fun). It means checking my ego at the door, every single day. It means treating trust like the fragile thing it is—earned slowly, lost quickly. At TAP, we teach that trust is a bridge to great leadership and great team dynamics—it's built and sustained with five core pillars: Credibility, Reliability, Emotional Safety, Congruency, and Motives. These aren’t just nice-to-haves; they’re the foundation of Leadership. When one of these is missing or weakened, that bridge becomes unstable. When one is destroyed, it can collapse.

Leadership also means knowing that I’ll screw up sometimes but not using that as an excuse to stop trying. I’ve seen too many leaders double down when they have made a mistake because they’re uncomfortable. They blame others, make excuses, check out, or lash out. And I’ve learned the hard way: that’s not leadership. That’s avoidance.

At TAP, we coach leaders through those exact moments. When frustration creeps in, when the urge to react takes over, when silence feels safer than curiosity — that’s the moment leadership really begins.

Leadership is not about having it all figured out. It’s about being willing to figure it out with others. It’s about recognizing something most new leaders aren’t told: the spotlight must shift. You may have earned your role by shining—by excelling at what you do. But leadership means learning to redirect that spotlight. It’s no longer about your success. It’s about creating the conditions for others to succeed. That’s a massive mindset shift, and one that takes humility, maturity, and practice.

"Good leaders learn to slow their step when necessary to walk beside their teams. They must also be ready to rush up ahead periodically to act as a sentinel, or to clear the path and act as a beacon."

If you want to lead well:

• Build strong relationships
• Stay curious
• Watch your ego
• Be intentional and own your energy
• Build trust, and protect it fiercely

Some days it’s going to feel like a lot. And it is. It’s also worth it.

This journey—my own evolution into leadership—has been messy and meaningful. I didn’t ask for it. I chose it. Because I believe in empowering others. I believe in leadership that lifts.

So, if you’re in it too—learning, stumbling, leading—just know: you’re not alone.

We’re behind you. Beside you. And sometimes just ahead of you, helping clear the path. Why? Because we know the world needs more great leaders.