Why Great Teams Take Real Work

Creating a dream team isn’t all rainbows, unicorns, and cupcakes. Ask any leader or team member, and they’ll tell you: it’s hard work. Real teams don’t just “click.” They form, storm, norm, and perform… and sometimes they loop right back again.

Sound familiar?

That’s the classic team development model from Bruce Tuckman, first introduced in 1965. You might remember it from leadership courses, or from the last time you sat in a team meeting wondering if someone was about to cry, shout, or quit.

Let’s break it down:

Forming

This is the “honeymoon phase.” Everyone’s polite, cautious, and trying to figure out roles, dynamics, and the big picture. There's a lot of head-nodding, assumption-making, and unspoken expectations.

Storming

The gloves come off, sometimes subtly, sometimes not. People start to question direction, challenge roles, and push boundaries. Conflict surfaces. Personalities collide. People talk too much or shut down entirely. Welcome to the messy middle.

Norming

Ahhh… things are settling. The team starts to find its rhythm. People communicate more clearly. Conflict doesn’t disappear, but it becomes more productive. There’s alignment on goals and processes. Everyone breathes a little easier.

Performing

Now we’re cooking. Roles are clear. Communication is strong. Trust is present. Teams are aligned and driving toward results with confidence and energy.

But let’s not pretend it’s linear. Teams shift. New members join. Priorities change. Pressure hits. And before you know it, you’re back in the storm.

And during the storm, here’s what we often see:

• Stating the obvious (which isn’t obvious at all)
• Shutting down – not communicating
• Talking too much and over each other
• Not asking enough questions – assuming we know what someone means without checking
• Assuming – stupidity, incompetence, ill intent
• Disrespect – jokes at someone’s expense, backchanneling, eye rolls
• Screaming and/or crying
• Firing people or quitting
• Cupcakes – yes, cupcakes. Because sometimes we just want to distract with something sweet instead of dealing with what’s really going on

Look, I’m not anti-cupcake. I’m also not anti-ping pong tables or team lunches. I love fun. I love laughter. But if the culture-building is performative, if it’s sugarcoating what’s broken instead of addressing it; your team will see right through it.

Before you bring cupcakes to the table of a raging storm, take a step back and think about how you can effectively move your team forward.

Here’s what actually helps:

• Listen.
• Have tough conversations.
• Plan meaningful (not cringy) trust-building activities.
• Be genuinely curious.
• Create a safe environment.
• Don’t make assumptions.
• Talk about it.
• Don’t take it personally.
• Be clear and concise.
• Recognize strengths.

At TAP, we work with leaders across various industries who are navigating these challenges in real-time. Whether you’re in Oil & Gas, Direct Sales, healthcare, education, or tech, team dynamics are real. They’re complex. They’re evolving. And they need more than cupcakes and motivational posters.

The best leaders aren’t the ones who avoid conflict. They’re the ones who create environments where trust can grow; where people can show up fully, messily, and human.

If your team’s in the storm, don’t panic. But don’t ignore it either.

Every team has potential. What matters is how you lead through the messy parts.