Your Lack of Empathy Is Showing and It’s Not a Good Look

Why stripping empathy from leadership erodes influence, innovation, and profit.

You might think being “all business” makes you look strong, decisive, and in control. But to your team, it can read as cold, disconnected, and out of touch. And here’s the kicker... they won’t always tell you. Instead, they’ll just give you less: less trust, less effort, less loyalty. Somewhere along the way, empathy got a bad reputation, but a lack of empathy isn’t a minor flaw; it’s a leadership liability.

I’m watching a dangerous shift, especially south of the border, where leaders are being told to harden up, “stick to the numbers,” and leave empathy at the door. It’s sold as strength. Efficient. No-nonsense. But here’s what I know after years in the trenches: A lack of empathy is the fastest way to lose trust, engagement, and your best people. When you remove empathy, you remove influence. And without influence, you might get short-term compliance, but you lose long-term commitment, and that commitment is what protects your culture, your performance, and your profitability.

I’ve spent my career in both kinds of rooms: the ones where accountability is invited, not forced, and the ones where it’s demanded through authority and fear. The gap in outcomes isn’t subtle. Invited accountability builds trust. Trust fuels loyalty. Loyalty fuels retention. And when people trust you, they bring you their best ideas, challenge assumptions, and collaborate without having to be begged. Hidden potential surfaces — and that my friends, directly impacts the bottom line.

What Empathy Is (and Isn’t)

Empathy isn’t coddling. It’s not lowering the bar, it's not DEI, or letting performance slide. Empathy is a leadership skill and directly impacts the ability to understand how decisions land on people and to use that insight to communicate clearly, set fair expectations, and still hold a high standard.

When leaders show empathy, people feel safe enough to speak up, take smart risks, and share ideas. When they don’t, people protect themselves. And when people are in self-protection mode, creativity dies, innovation stalls, and collaboration dries up.

The Trust Factor

Trust is the currency of leadership. You can’t buy it. You can’t demand it. You earn it through consistency, transparency, and keeping your word.

I’ve worked with leaders who wanted “better performance” but hadn’t realized they were withdrawing from the trust account faster than they were depositing into it. They set targets but shifted priorities weekly. They asked for ideas but dismissed them without explanation. And over time, people stopped believing the words and started watching the actions.

When trust is high, teams move faster, speak up sooner, and problem-solve together.

When trust is low, even the simplest initiatives stall. That’s why trust is not a “soft” concept — it’s a hard performance driver.  Building and Sustaining Trust 

“Trust isn’t built in grand gestures — it’s built in the small, consistent moments where your words, actions, values, intentions, and commitment to psychological safety all line up.”

The TAP Five Pillars — The Foundation for Every Growing Organization 

At TAP, we’ve seen that sustainable growth is built on five foundational pillars that support every thriving organization:

1, Credibility (Words): Are you truthful and a reliable source of knowledge? Do people trust what you say?

2. Reliability (Actions): Do you consistently follow through on your commitments?

3. Safety (Emotions): Do you create a space where others feel secure, heard, and respected?

4. Authenticity (Values): Do your actions align with your core values?

5. Intentions (Motives): Are your actions self-serving, or do they prioritize others?

When these pillars are strong, leadership influence becomes almost effortless because the environment supports it. When they’re weak, even the most talented leaders will struggle to create lasting change.

Fear Works… Until It Doesn’t

Fear can get people moving. It's true, I’ve seen it. You can pressure people into hitting a number this month. But fear drains the trust, energy, and goodwill you’ll need to hit the next one. Over time, it leaves a trail:

• Trust erodes → more oversight is needed → execution slows.
• People give the bare minimum → discretionary effort disappears.
• Turnover increases → momentum and knowledge walk out the door.
• Innovation flat lines → no one takes risks or tells the truth.

It’s a short-term play with a long-term cost.

Soft Skills Aren’t Soft — They’re Critical.

In every workshop I deliver, I make this point: these aren’t “soft” skills at all, they are critical skills. Calling empathy, listening, and transparency “soft” is how organizations justify neglecting them. In reality, they’re power skills that determine whether you can actually move people toward meaningful action.

Empathy → lets you read the room, understand impact, and make better decisions.

Listening → gives you insight to solve the right problems.

Transparency → aligns action, builds trust, and creates clarity across teams.

When these skills are missing, influence disappears. And without influence, you’re left managing compliance which is an expensive, exhausting way to run any organization.

The Superpowers of Great Leadership

Two traits separate average leaders from extraordinary ones: the ability to create strong relationships and genuine curiosity.

When you invest in relationships, you create a foundation where people want to work with you, not because they have to, but because they trust you, respect you, and believe you’re in it together.

When you lead with genuine curiosity, you remove assumptions and invite better thinking. I’ve walked into leadership rooms where defensiveness was so thick it stifled any real problem-solving. When defences go up, the ability to listen and learn goes down, and it shows in the quality of ideas on the table. But when I started asking open, curious questions, the kind that couldn’t be answered with a quick “yes” or “no”, walls came down. People leaned in. Real conversations started. And that shift unlocked ideas that had been sitting unspoken for months.

“When defences go up, the ability to listen and learn goes down.”

Invited Accountability: How It Drives the Bottom Line

Invited accountability is when people take ownership because they feel respected, informed, and part of the mission. It’s not about lowering standards, it’s about creating conditions where people choose to meet them.

When accountability is invited:

• Trust speeds things up — less second-guessing, fewer delays.
• Loyalty reduces churn — lower hiring costs, more experienced teams.
• Collaboration improves quality — better outcomes, fewer re-dos.
• Innovation drives revenue — more ideas tested, faster learning cycles.

Bottom Line

Removing empathy might make leadership look cleaner on paper, but it’s a false efficiency. Organizations are made of people and if you can’t connect with them, you can’t lead them.

If you want influence over compliance, commitment over fear, and results that last, build your leadership on trust, the TAP Five Pillars,  and the superpowers of strong relationships and genuine curiosity. Keep the standards high. Make the work human. That’s how you protect culture, performance, and profit at the same time.